I have arrived at a place in my life that is comfortable; still I want to have a few pebbles in my shoe so I can remain awake and not “asleep at the wheel!”
When I re-read this statement, I wonder exactly how I will articulate what I am feeling to you. What pops into my head are thoughts such as, “if life gets too comfortable, I will feel dead; if I get everything I need, will I dry up and blow away; if I get what I want, will I retire and grow old and if I finally arrive, will my journey end?”
When I first moved to Mexico, everything was hard to find, learn, speak and know. The community of ex-pats was our only source of information which was handed down generation to generation by word of mouth. As a community, we had to figure out how to “make do” with what we could find. It was a time of following threads of conversations and reaching out to ask strangers for help.
I loved the process of the search, weaving my way through the rumors, latest tidbits of news and secret “undiscovered” stores. Where are the large plastic garbage bags (I begged and pleaded for extra bags at the supermarket), American queen size sheets, sharp cheddar cheese, canned tomatoes, Avon Skin-So-Soft, cottage cheese (still looking for this) or Miracle Grow?
Of course, these were the days before Costco, Home Depot and Mega. I loved shopping in the Mexican Supers, trying to read the labels, giving up and taking a chance on my purchase.
While the living was harder, my life was easier with more open space, less information and time to just be.
Years have passed, everything is available and information is found on the internet about my neighborhood stores. Does this make me unhappy? Yes and no!
While life is certainly faster and easier, I still can celebrate the inconveniences of late appointments because it gives me time to be still and learn patience. I now appreciate that everything takes much longer here and when I put something on the back burner; it can be there so long, it simply goes away. Mostly, I love my imperfect life with its little struggles. I feel my life, I feel how I feel and I love my life, the good, the bad and the ugly.
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