Personally, change has been tough for me. During most of my life I have felt if I could get it finalized, organized, finished, researched enough and perfect, I could relax, breathe and get comfortable.
Why, why, why is this not possible?
I have spent many years and much mental energy trying to figure this out. Finally, I have accepted that life will always change and surprise me whether I like it or not. I have no control at all really.
After years of struggle, I have reached a place of being comfortable with the uncomfortable. During the last few years, I have discovered a tool that helps me accept change more graciously when I pick it up and use it consistently. This tool helps me master the art of “riding the wave” of change.” The tool, “Meditation!”
Of course, over years I have had many arguments with myself about meditation…no time, too many distractions, too tired, too noisy, too lazy, is it worth it and does it work?
Finally, after years of getting ready to get ready to meditate, I was finally sick and tired of the mental guilt and energy I was spending on avoiding it. I knew that it was time to set goal for daily practice over a long enough period to be able to evaluate it’s benefits.
My Goal: I will sit quietly alone (with my coffee) for 30 minutes, in a comfortable chair with my blanket, listening to music, protecting myself against distractions and avoiding all judgments that my mind would think up.
While it may not be the “correct” way to meditate, it is working for me. I have found a comfortableness with my life that has surprised me and pleased me.
In fact, I have equanimity in my life. Years ago at a retreat in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico,an old friend told me that he was looking for equanimity. At the time (13 years ago), I really didn’t understand this word.
I checked the Dictionary and the Thesaurus. I found that, indeed, this was what I was looking for too!
If you find change uncomfortable, I encourage you to give yourself the gift of one month of “no matter what” non-judgmental daily meditation. Try it you might like it!
