At some point in the future, I believe when I type “Beyonders” my computer will finally stop autocorrecting to “Beyond.” I believe Beyonders will become the official designation for people who have lived through the Boomer Years and have arrived on the other side of the aging hill. I believe Beyonders have the experience, knowledge and wisdom that are incredibly valuable to share with Aging Boomer Women. I believe my book will be the passage way of this wisdom between Beyonder and Boomer Women, enabling women my age, The Boomer Age, to feel better about the time in our lives.
My inbox is filled with so many wonderful and informative answers to my Five Famous Questions for Boomer and Beyonder Women. I want to encourage others to share their voice. I envision my book being a conduit between Beyonder Women’s “wisdom” and Boomer Women’s “shock.” Initially, I felt my book would be about forgiving ourselves for aging, seen from the shoes of an aging personal trainer. After checking in with many of my female clients and friends, I found the word forgiving didn’t fit for most of them. As a lifelong personal trainer in the body business, the word “forgiving” rocked my heart as I started witnessing the failure of my perfect fit body. I feel there is a disconnect between my perception of aging as a trainer and other Boomer Women who didn’t spend their lives in a gym. I knew clearly that I needed to do more research on what Boomer Women are actually thinking.
Personally, my first shock came after being informed I needed a hip replacement at 60. No way was I going down that path! Yet 3 years later, I found myself begging for surgery! My first blog post was titled, “Forgiving Myself for Aging,” and dealt with my denial of living in a less than perfect body. In fact, I realized that I needed to travel down the grieving path to acceptance before I could become comfortable with losing part of me. Looking back on my hip replacement journey of denial, I realize that losing my “birth-day” femur and hip socket was the greatest obstacle to move pass.
Please Beyonder and Boomer Women, share more heart deep feelings, answers and ideas! Be a part of my journey of “Writing My Book for Boomer Women.”
Janis’ Five Famous Questions
How old do you feel in your body? In your head?
Are you experiencing shock or acceptance over aging changes?
What are you doing to keep your body functioning well?
Are you feeling content with your life now?
What are you looking forward to?
PS: Men, please do not feel slighted. Just pass this on to the women in your lives, letting them know how much I need their help and thoughts on aging. Women, please pass on my questions to any of your friends or family who might be interested in helping clear up my prejudiced thinking as a fitness trainer! Thank you, Janis
1. At 75, I feel in my body as though I am 55 although an occasional afternoon nap sneaks in as a reminder; and certain mirrors provide a reflection that challenges my estimate. In my mind, maybe I am 65 because I find trivial matters and drama a bit tiresome, having outgrown the desire to make much of nothing.
2. Some aging changes I embrace; others are discouraging although not shocking. I do not embrace changes such as a rounder middle, sagging body parts, fading eyesight or the realization that some of the more demanding activities of my youth bring more pain than pleasure.
3. I try to eat balanced meals (except for my chocolate addiction), do not smoke, I consume alcohol at a rate slightly beyond what one would consider moderate, avoid fried foods and junk food, prefer fish dishes to meat; I walk a lot, take supplements recommended by a health care specialist, have regular doctor and dental appointments, floss daily, apply sun screen when I remember to do so. I keep in close touch with family and friends and enjoy the company of pets
4. This is a tough one. Sometimes I feel quite content, almost smugly so, with my life. Retired with enough resources to live comfortably, if not well, with no adult supervision and endless opportunities to explore all manner of interests, I cherish the freedom of my life. On the other hand, there are times I obsess over whether my retirement income will be swept away in an event of mass destruction, I feel a streak of envy when I see couples dancing, clearly smitten with each other. Although I know deep down such moments are … well, moments that likely will fade as quickly as the music, it would be fun, just once more, to experience such a moment.
5. I look forward to just about everything, mostly the immediate rather than long term – the next phone conversation with my sister, the next volunteer gig, the next visit with a friend or friends, learning more about people and places I know, the next movie, good meal, glass of wine, trail ride, hike in the woods, pleasant night’s sleep, football game, compelling book and, oh, yes, the next notes of music that come my way. Music captivates me, lifts me into an altered state where nothing exists but the exquisite vibrations that fill my ears and reconnect my spirit with the Universe.
Marsha, Thank you for your in-depth and honest sharing. I believe we will all connect with part of what you said. I particularly connect with this statement:
I find trivial matters and drama a bit tiresome, having outgrown the desire to make much of nothing.
No more drama is what I am wanting and know that the drama may not begin with me but could only be perpetuated by me. I will choose to step aside and let it pass.
So here goes!
1. I feel about 35 some days and mabe 45 others if I don’t look in the mirror or at the sagging skin at 66. In my head more like 10000 years old but mabe just 14 when a cool front comes thru. The 10000 references possibly more wisdom and just very accepting and grateful for where I am now on all levels. I cherish my Yoga and meditation. My inward journey is my favorite vacation every day. 2. Again sweet acceptance. 3.Yoga, walk/run/skip/dance/gardening and putting my hands in the dirt, eating live raw organic more and more. .4. I am very content and grateful. 5. I am looking forward to more new realizations, to staring at clouds,to my meditations, to being helpful(if ther is such a thing), to swimming more and for the opportunities to share, like this.
Love your words, you sound so content and happy. Much appreciation for sharing with us, Janis
Katy, Had no idea it was you, and of course, it was you! Big hug for sharing your life, Janis