Recently, I experienced what I considered a disaster event with my MacBook Pro Computer. If you are an Apple person, you will understand when I say, “Macs are back before you know it.” My faithful computer usually lets me know what is wrong and how to fix it.
However, this time my computer required “the computer guy” to help me recover from this event. We both wanted to double check his work so we booted her up!
As usual, I wanted and needed to be up and running yesterday. I was in my usual hurry up, get going mood. Yet, every time I tried to move on, clicking and clicking the trackpad, the spinning colored ball that we Mac people know so well, wouldn’t go away. It just kept spinning round and round.
I can still hear these words from the computer man, “You have to wait.” Of course, I kept punching on the trackpad, feeling anxiety and frustration at being delayed and wanted to return to my very important and critical work. And he just kept saying, “You have to wait; you have to wait; you have to wait.”
Finally, I heard him, sat back, took a few breaths and realized that I could not “push the river” and I had to wait. Actually, when I relaxed and waited, it was a relief, accepting that I was powerless over that icon.
Waiting is hard for me. I like to move, take action, make headway and keep going.
Being both a fitness trainer and a wellness coach, I wear two different hats during my day.
As a personal trainer, I need to have a plan and the answers. If I don’t know, I find out because I am the one with the answers to the questions.
As a coach, I have to wait. I have to wait in the silence during the pauses, really listening, without filling up the spaces with words or artful questions. Waiting can be so powerful, much more empowering to the client than me providing the answers or making suggestions. As a coach, my highest purpose is to open the door, provide a safe place and fertile ground for the client to find their own way.
As I wait, ignoring the wish to fill up the space, I am giving my client the gift of silence and true listening. So I have to wait!
As a coach, I like to remember, “Listen, or your tongue shall make you deaf.” (Old Cherokee saying)
If you would like to know more about coaching, please check out this video:
